Elephants and Existential Bedtime
Do not think about an elephant
This is what I told my daughter the other night when she said she couldn’t go to sleep because she was having “weird thoughts” (her words). I told her she needed to think about something pleasurable or enjoyable. She countered with, “But I want to stop thinking these thoughts”. Yeah, I agreed. I also wanted her to stop thinking whatever thoughts were keeping her from quieting down and going to sleep, but I knew that they would not be stopped or quieted by thinking about how she wanted them to be.
“Do not think about an elephant”, I said. And then I asked her next, “What are you thinking about?” she answered: An elephant. So yeah, see. You cannot stop your brain from thinking certain thoughts by thinking about them. You have to give your brain something else entirely to think about.
“What’s something pleasurable or enjoyable you could think about?” I asked her.
She paused and then said, “Carter”. Our 14 year old dog who passed away in March. Yes, let’s think about him. I think about him all of the time. I also think about flying over the Grand Canyon or ballet class when I was 6 years old or walking the floor plan of every home I’ve ever lived in. Anything to allow my brain to wander a familiar, safe path as it winds itself down to sleep.
What’s your “Carter” or “Grand Canyon” equivalent? What thoughts soothe your brain so you can rest?