Isolating: What That Means For Our Family
In the past 2-3 weeks, there is so much conversation about social distancing, isolating, and ways to protect yourself and the larger at-risk populations. I wanted to share what this looks like for our family for two reasons. One, to encourage you to figure out your own boundaries during this time. Every time a story about someone physically isolating their family in their home to help flatten the curve, my own resolve is buoyed. Two, to record what our lives look like at this time, so that when we're on the other end of it (and dear goddesses, let there be an end to this), we can see all we did to help, even if our actions didn't "feel" helpful at the time.
Currently, the term "isolating" is being used to describe physically isolating oneself when they're sick, while "social distancing" means to keep lots and lots of physical space between yourself and others. We're choosing to lean towards the "isolate our family at home" end of the spectrum. We're not sick, do not have symptoms, and have not spent time with anyone confirmed to have COVID-19 (that we know), but we're aiming for something more strict than just distancing while going about our usual lives (not that anyone is living their usual life anymore).
Also, I want to acknowledge the huge amount of privilege I am benefiting from during this time. We live on a boarding school campus, so we have access to outdoor spaces and a large community of neighbors. As of right now, my husband's job is stable and our income is not changing. I was already staying home with our daughter, so while it's not ideal that we have zero childcare, I trained up over the last year for full-time stay-at-home-parenting. Our expenses are low and we can afford to order things online/shop at different stores if necessary.
We are not going out of our home to any public places. We go outside to play on campus, hike trails we can walk to, and have stopped leaving campus as a family (though I anticipate needing some joyrides in the near future).
One person goes into stores for groceries and other necessities. Right now, that's my husband. My daughter and I do not go into community places, minus outside ones (hiking trails, the track at the school, etc)
No playdates for our daughter or hangouts with friends for us. And no cheating on this, no matter how lonely we are. No one but the three of us will be in or around our home right now.
When I do spend a longer time with a friend, we've hiked or walked at least 6 feet apart.
We've let our daughter see her friend who lives upstairs from us by allowing her to sit on our porch and him to be upstairs on his balcony steps. They're 3, so even asking them to not psychically rush at each other is a loss. Using the staircase as a boundary works right now. My neighbor reads books to all the kids while she sits upstairs with her kiddos and A sits downstairs on our porch.
My husband will be teaching his students via online platforms from a space on campus. He will not be in the space at the same time as others. He plans to sanitize his desk space each time he uses it and immediately wash his hands when he returns home.
With California actively encouraging people to stay home, we're not taking our van to public lands like campsites and the beach, though again, this may change as the length of time we're physically isolating extends. Right now, I am all about the social pressure. If you see me out and about, you may think it's fine to also be out and about. What you don't know is that I am not interacting with other people, not shopping, and probably not even getting out of my car.
When we see other faculty families outdoors, we keep a large gap of space between us. We definitely chat and spend some time together, but we keep our physical bodies at least 10 feet apart, usually more. Think chatting with your neighbor across the street while you each stay in your own yard.
We're canceling our house cleaner who comes every other week, but will continue to pay her for the next few visits.
We are doing our best to not "cheat" on these self-imposed rules. I'll be sharing a list of resources that are helping me manage this transition in uncertain times.
Until then, take care of yourself,
xJustine