Writings for Painful Beliefs

"I Can't Breakdown, Because Then Everything Will Fall Apart"

What a heavy, heavy belief to carry, dear one. That we cannot slow down, honor our feelings, take a time out, allow ourselves the space to stop and acknowledge not just where we are, but where we’ve come from. The pushing, the hustle, the pressure coupled with the resentment, the grief, the self-inflicting pain. And that’s just the first half.

The idea that if we do things perfectly, if we just get to that one last thing on the To Do list or push through one more time, that we can be sorcerers, superhumans, and keep everything from falling apart. That we are the entire cause of the world running on time and if we stop, it will all stop.

Fullstop.

Tocarry the whole world on your shoulders in this way. To bleed out in service ofeveryone around you. To believe that we can, we must, keep it together or elsethe ground will fall away from not just our feet, but from beneath those welove.

You can put this thought down.

You can put this thought down. You can let it go like a piece of tissue paper lit aflame. That heaviness, that burden, is not helping anyone, and it will bury you.

You, my friend, are a light. A light who is worthy of living and breathing the full spectrum of your human experience – the joy, the grief, the expansion and the contraction. It is up to you to speak your feelings of truth so that we may open to catch them. To give the world your emotional honesty and believe that honoring your feelings and needs first is an act of service to the world, because in honoring yourself, you teach us how to honor our own selves.

...in honoring yourself, you teach us how to honor our own selves

You teach us that there is freedom in supporting others from a place of filled-up-enoughness. You show us the way that breaking down can mean breaking through, and that when everything falls apart, it’s really all coming together.

Eachof us is in limbo when we deny the feelings that course through our bodies,restricting that human birth right in lieu of some perfectionistic payoff, someunreachable expectation that if I can just getmy shit together then I will attain some holy peace.

Holy peace will not find you in this hustle.

Holy peace will not find you in this hustle. Holy peace will find you when your exhaustion bubbles over into tears while brushing your teeth, except this time you let your partner see you in your grief. Holy peace will find you when you sit on the couch while your toddler plays “restaurant”, putting your hand to your chest, and feeling into the deep anxiety that’s plagued you all morning. Holy peace will find you when you take yourself outside to the water, to the mountains, to the places where you do not feel pressured to think through or articulate your inner landscape for anyone but yourself. Holy peace will find you when you stop believing your painful thoughts and instead sink into your body, feeling the heart beat under the breastbone, the tingling of your toes. Holy peace is not something you lost or have to work to gain, it is the feeling of oneness with yourself, that you were the support and the guidance you were looking for all along.

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Written for a coaching client in response to their work on the painful belief "I can’t breakdown, because then everything will fall apart". If you'd like support working through your own painful thoughts, book a coaching session with me. For more about The Work visit thework.com.