Practicing in 2023
My bare feet on my yoga mat
24 out of 30 days of Yoga with Adriene COMPLETE.
And, as Adriene encourages, I found what feels gooooood.
I also found what feels eh and also what feels not so great.
I dragged myself to some classes and avoided others by choosing a different video. Some classes shifted my energy completely and others found me crying into my mat. Some classes were a gift - the combination of postures and Adriene’s words a soul experience.
Promising myself I would do a thing for 30 days was an experiment. Could I show up each day? Would I be psyched at the start and forget the whole thing by day 15? Did I care enough about a yoga practice to complete it? Did completing it matter? Would life get in the way?
This challenge was a perfect way to kick off my word for 2023: Practice. Lately, I am so curious about what happens when I show up and do a thing pretty regularly. Not every day, not perfectly, but make an effort to slip it into my days. Exercise, work, reading, writing.
This comes up against my ingrained sense of perfectionism - well, if I can’t do it exactly, then what’s the point? If I miss a day, should I just quit? And if I lose interest, was I wrong in to make this a thing in the first place? Am I lazy? Flakey? Do I just need more discipline?
The idea came to me because I’ve found success with almost daily showing up in three areas: reading, working and mothering.
Last year I read 40 books. Some days I felt like reading, some days I did not. Some days I read a whole lot, sometimes I went weeks without reading much. But over the course of the year, little by little, I enjoyed/cherished/slogged thru/and sometimes quit 40 books. And the whole experience added something deeper to my days.
Last year I grew a business. I didn’t have any monetary goals or a business plan or even a bird’s eye view of what I was doing. I just showed up and did client work on the daily, no matter how I felt or what was going on in my life (see: being sick a lot, parenting, buying a house and moving across the country). And I brought in a perfectly great income for part-time work.
And mothering, well, that is ongoing and even relentless. At 6 years old, my daughter wants me more than she needs me, though she needs me quite a bit still. There are projects to be started, stories to pretend, shows to watch and games to play. She wants my attention, my love, my understanding, my hugs all day long. Mostly, she wants my presence. And often I am not present at all. But the daily, even hourly, act of showing up and turning towards her, builds our relationship from her being a toddler to now, a Kindergartener who asks the most amazing questions (and expects me to stop what I am doing to explore those questions to their answers, even if it’s something like “Where was I before I was in the belly?”).
But, back to yoga.
Yoga is a tangible, physical practice and 30 days was a measurable amount of time and Adriene was providing the exact class to do on the exact days, so there was no real thought needed from me (when do I practice, how long do I practice, etc). Just think through the day, remember showing up is a thing, and roll out the mat when I can.
And I did, 24 out of the 30 days. Which is 80%. Which my overachieving, A+ student self was sad to see. But y’know what? That’s 24 more days of yoga than I did in any other month of my life (even when I did yoga regularly at a gym, it was 2-3x per week, so 8-12x per month).
And the continual practice shifted things for me.
One, I don’t need a crazy aggressive yoga practice to feel the benefits. Stretching my body on the almost-daily brought better balance, stronger arms and a connection to my core I didn’t know I wanted.
Two, the repetitive nature of showing up on my mat for a mostly relaxing thing gave me something relaxing to look forward in my day AND was instantly relaxing once I sat down on my mat. This doesn’t mean every practice was zen, but it was like my body was so thankful to have that time with my brain. One of the few times in a day where I am paying attention to myself. Which created an off-mat experience of paying more attention my breathin, posture and body (three).
And then four, I proved to myself that showing up was better than perfection or doing nothing at all. The days I skipped, I truly missed the experience. Some days I told myself all I needed to do was show up and lay on the mat - if my yoga for that day was laying on the floor wrapped in a blanket & listening to Adriene’s voice, then so be it. It would count (which is five - lowering the bar is worth it).
And lastly, six, the journey really is better than the destination. I didn’t know what would come of 30 days of yoga. I didn’t have a plan beyond show up daily and practice. I experienced all of the feels throughout the month, both off the mat and on, and somehow that little slotted time of 20 minutes on the mat brought me back to myself, brought a new awareness of my body/brain off the mat, and gave me experiential evidence that a small, daily practice can bring a larger shift and result.
My plan is to continue doing almost-daily yoga… at least until I don’t want to anymore. But what’s most important to me is that this month confirmed for me that having practices is what makes achieving results/goals possible. And I will continue to play with practicing and almost-daily showing up and leaving perfectionism behind.
*Special thanks to my sisters H&R for practicing with me all month. Our daily text chain was accountability, encouragement and community support all in one. And yes, we all agree, our hips really need it.