Mama Time
When my daughter came home from a full day of sun and sweat at Six Flags, she immediately began drama-collapsing her little body all over the house as I tried to get her into the shower. “It wasn’t fun!” and “It was too hot!” and “I MISSED YOU!! I need mama time!!” I spoke to her calmly and quietly (which I was able to do bc I had NOT been at Six Flags all day), coaxing her through a shower, pjs, teeth brushing and tucked into bed, where I tried to meet her need for “Mama Time” by spooning her and letting all of her complaints spill out, stroking her now clean hair and holding her.
I promised her the next day I’d make time for her before work - we could bake muffins, do art, take a walk, play pretend and games.
And so that’s what we did.
She woke up in a much better mood (thanks for 11+ hrs of sleep) and played and played while I straightened up the kitchen and got breakfast going. When she was ready, we started baking muffins and while they baked she did some art. Then we played “The Hotel Pancake” which is a pretend game where one person is a hotel/pancake house owner and shows the other person around the house to all of the available “rooms”. We rounded all of that out with a kid’s Catan game where she destroyed me.
A few times I checked in with her. “Is this enough mama time?” and “Is this what you wanted when you said you needed ‘Mama Time’?”
And it got me thinking. When MY body starts drama-collapsing, what kind of “Mama Time” do *I* need? How do I spoon myself to sleep (or ask for that from H)? How do I change my inner monologue so I can be both YELLING about all of my unmet needs AND talking myself calmly down off the ledge?
Here’s a short list of things that feel like MAMA TIME to me:
Listening to Tara Brach’s podcast
Laying in bed with a heat pack
Putting in headphones with brown noise playing
Walking around the backyard barefoot
Laying down in the sun (even if I need to be indoors bc it’s freezing out)
Wearing whatever cozy pants/sweater I am drawn to that day
Wandering the grocery store and buying myself a few fun snacks (that will fuel me thru the next drama-collapse)
Putting myself to bed early, bonus in a bed with clean sheets
Where are YOU needing some “Mama Time”? If parental stuff is triggering for you, maybe you could call it “Big Me Time” or “Higher Self Time” or “Comfort Time” or “Quality Time”.