Encouraging

Managed to get up early, write and go out for a run with the dog. He was sick all last week and I only got 3 runs in, the last being a sluggish waste of energy. Back on the horse, and all that. I listened to a Radiolab podcast about Bliss. And let me say - with those stories in my ears and my legs pounding the pavement and my lungs sucking in cold air and my dog trotting beside me, I finally felt better.But it was fleeting. By the time I was home and dealing with the next item of my morning, my frustrations overtook me. And while I wasn't awesomely happy today, I wasn't horribly upset like I'd been last week.So that's encouraging.I spent the day at the office, dealing with emails and other tasks that've piled up. I did what I could with the moon void of course. I took frequent breaks to read or jot a few notes down in my journal. And I worked with a timer to create some flow. It worked, though I've had a caffeine withdrawals headache all day.Tomorrow is all about meetings and talking. We'll see how that goes.It's kind of incredible to think that this is my one precious life and I can't seem to get my brain to lay off the meanness. Can't gather up some self-love and enjoy the sunshine. But this has its place. I have hope it won't last much longer.Thinking about feeling like this for no pinpoint-able reason. That is feels a bit like grief. And I wondered to myself if, as this last sign of my birth chart closes out, if that's what I experience each year in the depths of February - the shortest, yet the darkest month. Some kind of death, and then rebirth.One can hope.For the rest of the night it's a snack, spending time with H who got home early from grad school, and sleep. Sleep is what I'm craving these days.