Intentions...
Intentions are important. They're sort of like intimate, internal versions of goals. Like the idea that you can't be "efficient" with people but you can be "effective". Intentions are the support beams, the values, behind our goals and actions. But I'm just writing about this b/c I'm not sure what I really mean...
How can I know what I think till I see what I say?
E.M. Forster
I'm learning that intentions are a much more effective and yet less pressured way to approach my life. For instance, my intention is to post daily. The want is there but sometimes time, inspiration or feelings get in the way. So I post when I can, which is still magically more than not posting at all. At the same time, I am not walking around with the Should Cloud above my head, nagging along, raining on my life enjoyment with its "You really should post today" or "Don't you think you've posted enough?" bs.
One of the things I love about yoga practice is setting an intention at the beginning of practice. Yesterday, I met my friend for our weekly yoga class - this time at YogaCo. We weren't asked to set an intention until 15 minutes into class, which gave me even more freedom. I'd started without an intention but now I had the power to pause and state one. Mine was "Breathe.Smile.Presence". Simple, yet I hoped it would carry me through my very long day (work duties scheduled to run till after 9PM had me stressed as early as 7AM).
As we sat in our last seated position after Savasana to thank ourselves and eachother for our practice, our teacher reminded us to think about our intention. Just as I did the entire neighborhood outside erupted with World Cup cheers. Usually such a noise intrusion would throw me off, take me into my head, freaking out about how obnoxious people can be, but I saw there and smiled. It felt so good to be participating and involved in a community while another sense of camaraderie was booming outside. I felt like I belonged. I felt blessed.
Last night's work activities were fun and not as horrible (aka stressful) as I imagined they would be. My intention, my mantra, helped keep me on track.
So today when my DreamLab love letter from the universe came in requesting that I "go slow" I took heed. It became today's intention. (Probably should be everyday's intention.) I can feel the summer energy bubbling in me, Mercury speeding along, a change in our routine because of summer break. I haven't been sleeping well and I've been getting caffeinated. Yet, there is nothing to do, no where to go. My only purpose is to be present. That inner thought guided me along today and helped balance out the jittery restlessness.
My worry, racing thoughts, anxiety all come from a place of fear that I am some how not enough. Slowing down is scary. Someone may catch me off guard, see that I'm not on top of things like I seem to be. Slowing down provides ample space to just be, but I don't know how to do that...intentions are my starting point.